


The Swan-Mills Family Conquer Disney World

by happylikeafool



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Disney World, F/F, Fluff, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-14 15:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11785614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happylikeafool/pseuds/happylikeafool
Summary: There is absolutely no way Emma is going to take the blame for this Disney Disaster - and that's disaster with a capital D.Orthe Swan-Mills family takes a vacation. It does not go exactly as planned.





	The Swan-Mills Family Conquer Disney World

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lego_Femslash (Alicepire)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alicepire/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Swan-Mills Family Conquer Disney World [ART]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11846022) by [Lego_Femslash (Alicepire)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alicepire/pseuds/Lego_Femslash). 



> Many, many, many thanks go to Alice for creating Protostar art that made me laugh and that was very inspiring. Alice also get extra thanks for putting up with me over the last few months and for just being a genuinely wonderful person. I honestly had such a great time writing this fic to go with her art. 
> 
> Thanks also go to the SQ Supernova team, who really are simply the best.

There is absolutely no way Emma is going to take the blame for this Disney Disaster - and that’s disaster with a capital D.

 

Disney wasn't even her idea.

 

 _Regina_ was the one to suggest a family vacation. Not Emma.

 

 _Henry_ was the one to suggest Disney World as the destination. Not Emma.

 

So what if Regina was clearly horrified by Henry’s suggestion and was definitely going to say no until Emma piped up with an, “I always wanted to go to Disney when I was a kid,” that was just supposed to be teasing, that was just intended to provoke Regina - because Emma finds that oh so very amusing - but instead somehow managed to sound just a little too longing.

 

So what if, after that, Regina looked at her with sad regretful eyes - the ones she gets whenever Emma's crappy childhood comes up - and agreed to the trip without hesitation.

 

So what if Emma didn't insist on a different trip - a less anger inciting trip - because she did sort of weirdly want to go to Disney.

 

So what, so what, so what...

 

Okay, so maybe she is a little bit to blame. Not that she's _ever_ going to admit it.

 

That is what she thinks as she stares at the turret of the iconic castle crumbled on the ground and sighs.

 

“Yeah. We’d better run now,” she says to Regina and Henry.

 

xxxxxx

 

_52 Hours Previous_

 

In some ways, it goes wrong right from the beginning.

 

Regina has never been on a plane. Well, neither has Henry. But while Henry stares out the window, grinning, declaring, “Cool,” as they take off and climb higher and higher in the sky, Regina is significantly less impressed. She squeezes Emma's hand so hard during take off that Emma is pretty sure there is going to be irreparable damage.

 

It only gets worse when they hit a patch of turbulence half an hour into the flight and Regina is air sick. Like, really, really air sick.

 

Needless to say, by the time they land in the Orlando International Airport, Regina is not in the best of moods. So, when they climb into the shuttle that's going to take them to Disney and the driver says, “My apologies but the air conditioning just gave out,” Emma braces herself for the outburst that she's sure is coming.

 

Regina doesn't yell at the man though, she just purses her lips and takes a seat, crossing her arms over her chest and grumbling something under her breath about customer service and proper maintenance as Emma sits down beside her.

 

The driver seems to understand that he's just escaped something that could have been rather scathing because he gulps and breathes what is surely a sigh of relief before he says, “Next stop Disney. The most magical place on earth.”

 

Emma snickers, whispering under her breath, “Clearly he's never been to Storybrooke.”

 

Henry laughs from the seat beside her and even Regina cracks a smile, though her arms are still crossed over her chest.

 

xxxxxx

 

“It's _so_ hot,” Emma complains, as the un-airconditioned shuttle rumbles down the highway away from the airport and towards Disney World.

 

“Didn't you live in Florida? Shouldn't you be used to this?” Henry quirks an eyebrow at her, the expression so Regina that it's scary.

 

“That was eons ago,” Emma protests. Although, honestly, right now she's wondering how she managed to survive two years in Florida with a vehicle without air conditioning when this twenty minute drive from the airport to Disney is sort of feeling like it might kill her.

 

Henry shrugs and presses his face back to the window, watching palm trees pass by.

 

Regina’s arms uncross, a hand reaching over to take one of Emma’s in her own, fingers lacing together, squeezing gently.

 

The question is there without any words. A silent _are you okay_? And Emma squeezes her hand back in response, looks over and smiles.

 

The answer is just as wordless as the question but Regina understands because her head bobs once and she returns the smile.

 

Emma _is_ okay and that is not a lie. Reminders of Tallahassee don’t hurt, haven’t hurt in a long time. Not now when she’s actually found Tallahassee - the meaning, that is, not the place. Not now when she has a son and a wife who she loves, who love her. Not now when she is _this_ happy.

 

Although, she thinks, she would probably be happier right in this very moment if this shuttle had air-conditioning. She tries to blow a piece of hair out of her face but it's stuck to her forehead and refuses to move.

 

Regina’s mouth twitches into a smile, amused, and Emma can’t help but scowl at that, which only makes her wife smirk wider.

 

Regina, despite her earlier bout of air sickness, of course, somehow manages to look completely put together while Emma is melting into a puddle because that’s just how these things go.

 

“Moms, look.” Henry points out the window at the Disney sign coming into view.

 

Emma can’t help but grin, declaring, “Thank god this car ride is almost over.”

 

Regina rolls her eyes at Emma’s dramatics but she also looks immensely relieved, so maybe she’s not as unaffected by the heat as she appears.

 

The shuttle turns into the driveway and something strange happens. Emma’s eyes widen in surprise and she looks over at Regina. “Is that…” she trails off, not finishing the question that isn't all that appropriate to ask amidst a bus full of people.

 

“Yes,” Regina confirms, her lips pursuing, seeming just as confused as Emma.  

 

 _Weird_ , Emma thinks as magic simmers in her veins, coming alive.

 

She definitely wasn't expecting the Most Magical Place on Earth to have _real_ actual magic.

 

xxxxxx

 

They’re staying at the Swan Resort only in small part because of its name. Emma insists, will insist for the rest of time, that the name isn’t the reason she voted for this particular hotel - even if it totally is. Henry and Regina, on the other hand, voted for the Swan Resort for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with its name and have almost everything to do with its proximity to Epcot - because Regina and Henry are giant nerds who are significantly more excited about Epcot than any other park, a fact that Emma finds endlessly amusing.

 

“What are you smiling about?” Regina quirks a curious eyebrow over at her.

 

Emma shakes her head, shaking the memory of hotel selection away. “Nothing, nothing.” Regina does not like being called a nerd and Emma thinks better of provoking her after air turbulence and the air-conditioning-less shuttle.

 

Regina just shrugs one shoulder, her lips pursing as she turns back to face forwards. “Is this line ever going to move?” she complains.

 

They've been standing in this line waiting to check in for at least ten minutes now and, Regina isn't wrong, they haven't moved. The problem is that the hotel lobby is packed. _Really_ packed. Packed with people and luggage and so many kids running around screaming like banshees.

 

Emma watches as one of those screaming banshee children runs right into Regina.

 

Regina stiffens, her eyes flashing anger until she realizes that the culprit is a five year old with Mickey Mouse ears on his head and two missing front teeth who’s looking up at her with wide scared eyes.

 

“Sorry,” the little boy apologizes timidly.

 

“It's okay,” Regina assures with a gentle smile.

 

The little boy returns the smile with a shy one of his own and then he’s scampering away, presumably back to his parents.

 

As soon as he’s gone, Regina’s posture stiffens once more, her smile fading.

 

And, _okay_ , Emma thinks, Regina _definitely_ isn't as unaffected by the turbulent plane ride and lack of air-conditioning as she appeared to be in the shuttle.

 

“Look the line’s moving,” Emma points out helpfully.

 

Regina just eyes her incredulously because there are still five families in front of them.

 

Emma just shrugs, unabashed. “Well it is.”

 

xxxxxx

 

“Can we go to Epcot _now_?” Henry asks when they’re finally opening the door to their two room suite. He kicks off his sandals and flops himself onto the bed that is in this room, spreading his arms out as wide as they’ll go.

 

Emma looks over at Regina to gauge her reaction - she doesn’t look all that enthralled by the suggestion, her shoulders tense, her lips pursed. Emma’s pretty sure that after hours of not so great travelling, Regina would probably rather lie down or read a book or something to that effect.

 

Emma herself isn’t too keen on the idea of traipsing around a hot amusement park at the moment. Not when her tank top is currently plastered to her back and is probably going to require assistance to remove - and not the fun kind of clothing removal assistance. “How about,” she suggests, “we go down to the hotel pool instead?” The possibility of diving into cool water sounds like about the best thing she can think of right this second.

 

Henry sits up, propping himself up on his elbows, looking back and forth between his moms. A look of understanding passes over his face and he decides easily, “Yeah sure, that works too.”

 

“What do you think, Regina?” Emma asks, as she carries the suitcases further into the room, dropping them in the corner where they’ll be out of the way until they unpack, which isn’t happening right now if she has anything to say about it.

 

Regina quirks an eyebrow at Emma’s haphazard handling of their luggage. “Be careful.”

 

“Why? It’s just clothes. Or did you pack the good china in there?” Emma jokes.

 

Regina rolls her eyes at the bad joke and doesn’t bother answering.

 

“So can we go to the pool or what?” Henry prods eagerly, clearly very much now on board with the going to the pool plan.

 

Regina glances from Henry to Emma and then back to Henry again. “Yes, we may go to the pool.”

 

“Awesome!” Henry grins, hopping up off the bed, and moving over to the suitcases to find his swimsuit.

 

xxxxxx

 

They all change into their swimsuits and then Regina produces a bottle of sunscreen out of one of the suitcase compartments.        

 

Emma doesn’t know why she didn’t see this coming. Regina takes sun safety very seriously. Still, she can’t help but tilt her head. “Isn’t SPF 150 kind of overkill?” Where do they even sell SPF 150? Is that even a real thing? It doesn't sound real.

 

Regina shakes her head incredulously. “No it is not. You inherited skin that is far too pasty white to take any risks. And I did not come on vacation to listen to you complain when you get sunburnt.” She uncaps the tube and squirts some into her hand. “Come here.”

 

Emma shoots Henry a _yikes_ face and obeys like a reprimanded child, letting Regina slather her in the thickest layer of sunscreen possible. “If you put it on like that, we’re going to run out by tomorrow,” Emma grumbles, trying not to squirm as cold sunscreen is rubbed onto her stomach.

 

“I wouldn’t worry. I packed seven bottles,” Regina says seriously, as if packing seven bottles of sunscreen for a seven day trip is completely reasonable and not the least bit insane. “Turn around,” she instructs.

 

Emma says nothing, turning around obediently, although she does wonder how she missed Regina slipping seven bottles of sunscreen into their suitcase.

 

After a few more minutes of slathering, Regina seems satisfied, patting the small of Emma’s back to get her to move. “Your turn, Henry,” Regina says, turning her attention to their son and curling her fingers to beckon him over.

 

Henry just trudges forward without complaint. Clearly after fourteen years of living with the sunscreen police, he knows better than to protest.

 

xxxxxx

 

They spend a couple of hours by the pool and all three of them are relaxed and in considerably better moods by the time they’re heading to their pre-made dinner reservations at the hotel’s Garden Grove restaurant.

 

The restaurant has this huge tree right in the middle of it, and Emma looks up fascinated by the canopy of leaves over their table. She grins, still staring up at the ceiling. “So cool.” 

 

“You’re easier to impress than a child,” Regina tsks, but it’s not scathing, it’s so very fond.

 

Emma just grins wider, drawing her eyes away from the canopy of leaves to look at Regina and Henry across the table. “Are you trying to say it’s _not_ cool? Back me up here, Henry.”

 

“It’s okay, I guess.” Henry shrugs, trying to look indifferent but with twinkling eyes that give him away.

 

“Okay? Okay? _Okay?_ ” Emma brings a hand to her chest and feigns offense. “How could you call this magnificent tree just _okay_?”

 

Regina barely contains a snort and Henry laughs.

 

“You’re ridiculous, Ma.”

 

Emma is prepared to protest, to demand that he take that back, even opens her mouth to do so, but the words die on her lips as she catches sight of the people who are walking into the room. Her brow crinkles. “Is that my parents?”

 

Both Henry and Regina’s heads whip around so fast that Emma thinks they might give themselves whiplash.

 

And, okay, so it's not her _actual_ parents but, by some kind of weird coincidence, Snow White and Prince Charming are the restaurant's _Disney Duo_ of the night.   

 

xxxxxx

 

Fake Snow White and Fake Prince Charming wander the room, stopping at every table to chat and take photos.

 

Henry barely contains laughter when it’s their turn to pose with the Disney Duo.

 

Once the costumed couple have wandered far enough away, Regina says, “I didn't think it was possible but this Fake Snow White is more annoying than the real one.”

 

Emma ignores the slight against her mother and bobs her head up and down. “So annoying,” she agrees because Fake Snow White’s sickeningly sweet tone of voice is the phoniest thing that she's ever heard.   

 

“Remind me why we picked this restaurant?” Regina asks, sounding like she might think it's the worst decision they’ve ever made.

 

“It's supposed to be fun!” Henry pipes up a little too enthusiastically.  

 

“Yes, small talk with an awful imitation of a person I once cursed is oh so very fun,” Regina says, her words dripping with sarcasm.

 

Emma grimaces. It’s definitely time to change the subject. “Hey, do you think _we’re_ one of the Disney Duos?” she asks curiously.

 

Regina quirks an eyebrow at her across the table, no words necessary for her thoughts on the answer to that question to be clear.

 

“Right. No. Of course not. What was I thinking?” Emma shakes her head, her heart sinking. And she really _does_ wonder what she was thinking. Because all she's managed to do is change the topic from one sore subject to another.

 

“Yes, of course we’re not,” Regina agrees bitterly and she adds just a little too loudly, “Because Disney is the worst.”

 

“Geesh, not so loud,” Emma hisses, looking around hoping that no one heard that. A room full of people paying good money to vacation in Disney probably don't want to hear about how it's the worst. Not that she necessarily disagrees with that sentiment. At least, when it comes to _them,_ Disney is definitely the worst.

 

xxxxxx

 

Sometime later, Regina and Emma are lying in bed. Emma has her arms wrapped around Regina, Regina’s head resting on her chest.

 

Emma runs her hand up and down Regina’s back gently. “I’m sorry about the air sickness. And that awful shuttle. And the screaming lobby kids. Oh and the most annoying Snow White ever....” she lists off all of the ways today has not been the Greatest Vacation Ever and, surprised at how long the list ends up being, she frowns. “Not the greatest start to our vacation, huh?”

 

Regina is quiet a long moment, as if contemplating it. “There were certainly some unpleasant moments,” she finally says. “But it wasn't a completely awful day.” After a beat she adds, “And I’m sure tomorrow will be better.”

 

Emma’s hand stills on Regina’s back and she groans. “Why would you jinx us like that?”

 

Regina pushes herself up, propping herself on one elbow so that she's looking right at Emma when she rolls her eyes. “Aren't you a little old to believe in jinxes?”

 

Emma doesn't really have a defense here, so she just grumbles, “Shut up.”

 

Now Regina is smirking, looking oh so very coy as she says, “Make me.”

 

And, well, Emma doesn't need to be told twice. She leans forward and presses her lips to Regina’s, one hand reaching up to tangle in dark hair, the other settling against Regina’s hip.

 

Regina leans into the kiss, a hand reaching up to cup Emma’s cheek as her tongue darts out and pushes into Emma's mouth.

 

Emma moans softly, one of her legs tangling with Regina’s and the hand at Regina’s hip slipping under her pajama top to brush against bare skin, tracing a slow pattern upwards.

 

Regina stops the upward path of Emma’s hand by pulling back from the kiss, panting a little as she warns, “ _Emma_ , Henry is in the next room.”

 

Unhappy by the loss of contact, Emma frowns but the frown is quickly replaced by a grin. “ _Yes_. But in a surprising but pleasing turn of events there is magic here.” She waves one of her hands, the room shimmering as a silencing spell is cast, and she waggles her eyebrows playfully up and down at Regina.

 

Regina rolls her eyes but she can’t seem to keep the fond smile from tugging at her lips and it's not long before she’s leaning forward to recapture Emma's lips in an urgent kind of kiss that escalates quickly.

 

xxxxxx

 

Afterwards, lying naked, limbs still tangled together, Regina smirks. “Maybe this trip isn't off to as bad of a start as we thought it was.”

 

Tired, Emma just grunts her agreement, sighing contently as she pushes her head further into Regina’s shoulder, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

 

xxxxxx

 

Breakfast the next morning is a cafeteria style affair, served by a whole slew of Disney characters - although Emma takes note that there aren't any _popular_ Disney characters here. She guesses you've got to pay extra for Mickey to make you pancakes. Actually, come to think of it, that might be on their itinerary for Day 6. Although, she can’t be one hundred percent sure. She maybe wasn't paying all that much attention when Regina and Henry were deciding things like restaurant pre-bookings.

 

Regina tsks when Emma passes up on fruit in favour of loading her plate with bacon. Emma slides down the line before Regina can force a fruit cup onto her plate and comes face to face with a terrible perm and an even more terrible mustache.

 

Captain Hook dumps scrambled eggs onto Emma’s plate when she points, while Regina glowers at him from beside her. Emma catches the unmistakable flicker of fire in the palm of her wife’s hand and hisses, “ _Regina_.”

 

Regina looks down at her hand, as if she's surprised by the appearing fireball, and quickly extinguishes it. “He's leering at you,” she says in her defense.

 

“He only has _one_ facial expression,” Emma says incredulously, shaking her head at Regina.

 

Regina just gives her a look that says _exactly_ and Emma groans, quickly sliding further down the line to the toast making station, which is thankfully far far away from Captain Hook.

 

“So maybe we should agree to no fireballs while we’re at the happiest place on earth, yeah?” Emma suggests while she puts two slices of bread into the rotisserie style toaster.

 

Regina’s brow knits into a frown.

 

“It would scare the kids,” Emma adds, as if the recommendation needs justification.

 

“Fine,” Regina sighs after a minute, like it's an imposition and not just common sense.

 

“Thank you,” Emma breathes out because for a second there she really thought this was going to turn into an argument. The toast slides out the bottom of the toaster and she adds it to her plate.

 

xxxxxx

 

They settle at a table and Henry comes over to join them with the breakfast he’s gathered for himself - a bowl filled with what looks to be a combination of every sugary cereal on the market with what might be chocolate milk poured over it.

 

“I put some Shreddies in there,” Henry says when Regina quirks an eyebrow at him - as if one scoop of a mildly healthy cereal makes up for the rest.

 

“We’re on vacation,” Emma says before Regina can protest.

 

It's a better argument than Henry's because Regina just sighs and waves her hand in a _go ahead_ motion before picking up her spoon and digging into her yoghurt.

 

They discuss which park they should go to first while they eat.

 

Unsurprisingly, both Henry and Regina say Epcot without a second of hesitation.

 

Emma laughs. “You guys are such nerds.”

 

Henry just shrugs his shoulders as if to say _so what_ , perfectly content in his status as a nerd.

 

Regina, on the other hand, as she usually is, is less amused by this insinuation and her eyes narrow in Emma's direction.

 

Emma smiles at her and reaches over to pat her knee in a sort of apology. When Regina isn't glaring at her anymore, she says matter of factly, “We can't go to Epcot first.”

 

The statement is met with the kind of negative reaction she's expecting, both Henry and Regina opening their mouths to protest, but she holds up her hand to stop them. “Wait. Hear me out. We have to go to Magic Kingdom first.”

 

“Why?” Regina quirks a skeptical eyebrow at her.

 

“Because it's like the most Disney, Disney park. It's got the castle. It's in some kind of rule book that you have to start with it,” Emma explains.

 

“I'm pretty sure there isn't a Disney rule book, just guidebooks, and the one we bought makes no such inference about Magic Kingdom being the mandatory starting point.” Henry eyes her just as skeptically as Regina.

 

“After our encounter with the Fake Charmings last night, the fact that it's the _most_ Disney park is not a selling feature. That makes me want to put it _last_ or _not at all_ . Certainly not _first_ ,” Regina adds.

 

“But-” Emma starts to protest but Henry cuts her off.

 

“It’s two against one. So, sorry Ma, we’re going to Epcot.”

 

Emma pouts, eyes wide as she gives Regina her best impersonation of a puppy dog.

 

Regina shakes her head firmly. “Stop that.”

 

Emma knows then that she’s definitely not going to get her way. She's not completely ready to concede defeat yet either though, so she asks, “If we go to Epcot can we do the drinking around the world thing?” It’s something she read about in Henry’s guidebook.  

 

Regina quirks an eyebrow at her. “You really think you can tolerate eleven drinks today?”

 

“Of course I can,” Emma nods.

 

Henry and Regina give her identical disbelieving looks.

 

“I can!” Emma insists stubbornly.

 

Henry and Regina share another look before Regina smirks, amused, reaching over to pat Emma’s shoulder. “Okay, dear, we believe you.”

 

They obviously don’t and Emma scowls but Regina’s hand doesn’t leave her shoulder, instead it settles there, rubbing slow circles, and it becomes impossible for Emma to maintain the scowl. “So we can do it?” she finally asks because she still hasn’t really gotten a clear answer.

 

Regina laughs lightly. “This is a vacation, Emma, _you_ can try whatever you want.”

 

Emma doesn't miss Regina’s use of _you_ or _try_ but she chooses to ignore that, grinning instead. “Okay. Let’s start with Epcot.” She says it like the decision hasn’t already been made by the other two members of her family.

 

xxxxxx

 

After breakfast, a repeat of yesterday’s thorough sunscreen slathering, and Regina forcing a hat onto Henry’s head, they are on their way to Epcot. Their hotel offers boat rides to this particular park and Emma has to admit that that's pretty cool. She doesn't even care when Regina points out again how easy she is to impress.

 

They decide to go to the Ellen DeGeneres Ride first because, well, it just sort of seems like a must.

 

It’s about four minutes into the ride, which Emma's not sure should be called a ride since so far all they're doing is standing in a room watching a video, when something really clicks in. “Wait,” she says. “This is a ride about science stuff?”

 

Regina quirks an eyebrow at her. “What did you think it was going to be about?”

 

Emma shrugs. “I dunno. Dancing?”

 

Henry eyes her like she’s crazy. “It’s called Ellen’s _Energy_ Adventure.”

 

“Yeah. So?” Emma shrugs again. “I just thought that was like...look at all the energy I’ve got, I’m going to dance the energy away…” Now _both_ Henry and Regina are looking at her like she’s crazy and she rubs the back of her neck, grumbling, “I should have known it was going to be something nerdier. We _are_ at Epcot.”

 

“Poor Emma being forced to learn things,” Regina says sarcastically, reaching over and patting Emma’s arm in feigned sympathy, her lips twitching into an amused smirk. “Now pay attention to this obviously significantly oversimplified description of how energy works.”

 

xxxxxx

 

Emma wants to go to the Lion King attraction next because it’s the Lion King and who doesn’t like the Lion King? It’s especially appealing to her because she's pretty sure that lions are the one Disney creation that aren't likely to show up in Storybrooke. Or, at least, she _hopes_ they don't end up with talking lions roaming around someday because that sounds like about zero fun.

 

Neither Regina nor Henry are particularly interested in an attraction that is clearly geared towards teaching small children about environmental conservation though. So, instead, they end up at Mission: Space, which all three of them end up agreeing is great.

 

They’re debating where to go next when Henry points at a crowd gathering ahead. “Hey look,” he says, “It’s Mickey and Minnie.” He glances back at Emma and Regina. “We should wait in line to take a picture with them.”

 

Regina and Emma share a look and they shrug simultaneously. “Sure kid,” Emma is the one to say, a hand on his back, nudging him towards the line.

 

They’ve been standing in line ten minutes when Emma asks, her voice low to avoid anyone else overhearing, “Mickey never visited Storybrooke, did he?”

 

“Not to my knowledge,” Henry says immediately but then his head tilts and he considers it a minute longer, before adding, “But there were a lot of unnamed Townspeople we never really interacted with.”

 

Regina’s brow furrows in thought, eyeing Emma a long moment. “Is _that_ why you wouldn't let me put down any traps when we had that mouse living in the wall?”

 

“You can't kill an internationally recognized symbol of childhood!” Emma protests just a little too loudly and she ducks her head to avoid the gaze of the people in front of them in line who have turned around to shoot a suspicious look in her direction.

 

Regina waits until no one is looking at them anymore to say quietly, yet very very seriously, “I'm not going to allow vermin in my home just because you think a mouse looks _cute_ in trousers.”

 

“It's not just that he looks cute,” Emma protests because that just makes her sound idiotic. “It’s-”

 

Regina interrupts her, “I know, Britney and JT met in his _club_.” She smirks. “You have got to let that go, dear.”

 

Emma crosses her arms, grumbling under her breath as they shuffle forward in line, “If double denim can come back, then so can they.”

 

“It’s amusing that you think so.” Regina laughs.

 

Henry rolls his eyes at them and then it’s their turn to take their picture with Mickey and Minnie. “Would you quit pouting, Ma, you’re going to look ridiculous in this photo.”

 

“I’m not pouting,” Emma grumbles.

 

“You are,” Regina says, her eyes filled with amusement as she wraps her arm around Emma’s waist, pulling her in close for the photo.

 

And, well, Regina’s arm around her waist is enough to make Emma smile under the direst of circumstances. So, Henry gets his picture without anyone scowling in it.

 

xxxxxx

 

It’s almost lunch time by the time they finish with Mickey and Minnie, so they head to the World Showcase.

 

The first stop is Mexico and, after sharing a plate of nachos with guacamole, Emma tries to talk Regina into doing a shot of tequila with her.

 

Regina just shakes her head. “Absolutely not.”

 

“Why not?” Emma pretends to pout, sticking her bottom lip out. “ _Please_?”

 

“Stop that.” Regina shakes her head but she looks unmistakably fond. When Emma doesn't stop, she adds gently, “I'll have a drink with you at one of the other stops, Emma. But under no circumstances do I want to be drinking tequila.”

 

“ _Fine_ ,” Emma whines but she's smiling when she orders her shot of tequila. “Last chance.” She holds the ordered shot out for Regina to take but, when her wife shakes her head again, Emma shrugs and slams the tequila back. She immediately grimaces. Has tequila always tasted _that_ bad?

 

“ _That_ was why I did not want to do a shot of a tequila.” Regina laughs.

 

“That good, huh, Ma?” Henry adds, laughing at the expression on her face too.

 

Emma sticks her tongue out at them and then wiggles it around, hoping that will get rid of the awful taste.

 

“Are you still sure about drinking your way around the world?” Regina quirks an eyebrow at her.

 

Emma looks between Henry and Regina, who are both clearly expecting her to give it up already. And, okay, so maybe a small part of her is already regretting this decision, but she is _not_ a quitter, so she just smiles at Regina. “Of course.”  

 

xxxxxx

 

Norway is the next stop and, as they wait in line to order cold beer from one of the vendors, Emma points over at the Frozen ride. “Hey look my Almost Sister has her own ride.”

 

“ _Almost Sister_?” Henry laughs.

 

“ _Seriously_?” Regina adds, “That's how you think of Elsa? As your Almost Sister?”

 

Emma shrugs. “I don't know. Like. If Crazy Ice Lady hadn't had that last minute change of heart, we would have been weird bracelet sisters for all of eternity. That's got to be the definition of Almost Sisters.”

 

Henry laughs harder and Regina just shakes her head as they shuffle forward in line.

 

“We _are_ going to ride the Frozen ride, right?” Emma asks hopefully as Regina hands over money to the vendor for two beers and a bottle of water for Henry.

 

“Yes, dear.” Regina smirks, handing over one of the beers to Emma. “We wouldn't want your _Almost Sister_ to find out we passed up on the opportunity to see what a terrible job Disney has done in its attempt to reduce her life story to fit within the confines of a theme park attraction.”

 

Amused by Regina’s ranting, Emma just takes a long gulp of the wonderfully cold beer and grins. This is fun.

 

xxxxxx

 

By the time they make it out of Norway and to stop three, the tequila and that one beer have already gone to Emma's head making everything just a little cloudy and she's not thinking _this is fun_ anymore.

 

It’s pretty clear to her that Regina and Henry were right to doubt her ability to complete this around the world drinking tour. But Emma is not a quitter. Or maybe it’s just that she’s stubborn enough to keep going because she doesn’t want to hear Henry and Regina say _I told you so_. Either way, she orders a beer at this stop too and chugs it like a champ, even if it makes her feel a bit queasy.

 

By the time they are walking into stop four though, she can’t feel her feet. And feet are sort of necessary for walking. So, it’s not really a surprise when, before she's even gotten her fourth drink, she stumbles right into Regina.

 

Regina’s hands steady her and brown eyes study her uncertainly. “Are you okay, Emma?”

 

“I’m fines.” Emma bobs her head in the affirmative. Except she’s added an _s_ to the word fine, a word that most definitely does not require pluralization. And now Regina is eyeing her even more suspiciously than before. Emma gulps, looking sheepish as she admits, “I kinda cants feel my feet?” And she’s done it again, pluralized a word that definitely doesn’t need to be pluralized.    

 

Regina quirks an eyebrow at her. “Remind me again how you were going to be able to drink your way around the world.”

 

Emma can’t tell if Regina is just teasing her or if she’s angry and she whines out a pitiful, “I’m sorry.”

 

“Sssh,” Regina soothes, rubbing Emma’s back in the way that means that she isn’t angry.

 

Emma breathes out a heavy sigh and leans against Regina.

 

“So we’re going back to the room?” Henry guesses from beside them.

 

“We don’t have to-” Emma starts but stops when Regina gives her a forceful look.

 

“ _Yes_ ,” Regina says firmly.

 

xxxxxx

 

It’s not until they’re on the boat heading back to the hotel, Emma curled up with her head on Regina’s shoulder, that Regina says, “Pretty soon your alcohol tolerance is going to be worse than your mother’s.”

 

And, well, that’s worse than hearing _I told you so_.

 

“That’s not nice,” Emma pouts without lifting her head.

 

Henry laughs, snapping a picture of the two of them. “But it’s so true.”

 

xxxxxx

 

Back in the hotel room, Emma lies sprawled out on the bed, looking up at Regina who is standing over her. “Disney is exhausting,” she says.

 

Regina smirks, offering sarcastically, “Yes, it’s Disney and not the three drinks you’ve had.”

 

Emma hiccups, which definitely doesn’t help her point, but she still says, “Disney. Definitely. One hundreds percent.”

 

“One hundred _s_?” Regina repeats, emphasizing the incorrect pluralization.

 

“Yep,” Emma confirms with more confidence than she probably should have.

 

“Mmhm, sure.” Regina is clearly trying to be annoyed but she's really only managing to look fond. She bends down and kisses Emma’s forehead, murmuring to her, “Take a nap, you’ll feel better when you wake up.”

 

Emma smiles happily at the kiss, her eyes drifting shut as instructed, dream land claiming her almost instantaneously.   

 

xxxxxx

 

Emma is woken sometime later by Henry jumping on the bed.

 

“Wake up, wake up, wake up!” Henry chants.  

 

“Henry!” Regina calls from somewhere farther away. “What are you doing?”

 

“You said to wake Ma up,” Henry says, sounding wholly unimpressed with being reprimanded.

 

“I did not say to jump on the bed,” Regina chastises and Emma doesn’t need to open her eyes to know that she is quirking an eyebrow at Henry. "Are you fourteen or four?"

 

Emma groans, her eyes blinking open slowly. “Do you have to be so loud?”

 

Henry laughs, and drops into a seated position beside her from where he’s still standing on the bed. “It’s almost time for dinner,” he explains and he’s being extra loud on purpose, she’s sure of it.

 

Emma stretches with another groan and pushes herself up in the bed until she’s sitting upright.

 

Regina moves from where she is leaning against the doorway to stand beside the bed. Reaching over and smoothing unruly blonde hair, smiling softly. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Better,” Emma nods.

 

“Good,” Regina nods too, still running her hand through Emma’s hair.

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, good, good,” Henry says. “Now where are we going to eat? I’m starving.”

 

“You’re such a teenager sometimes.” Emma laughs, reaching over and ruffling his hair until he squirms away. Then she grins slowly and says, “We should go back to the World Showcase, so I can finish my drinking around the world.” She's kidding, mostly.

 

Regina groans, eyeing Emma with an expression filled with skepticism. “Seriously?

 

“Yeah, okay, maybe not,” Emma shakes her head. Ruining their evening after already ruining their afternoon probably isn't worth it just to try and prove that her alcohol tolerance is _not_ nearing a Snow White level of embarrassing.

 

“We _could_ go back to the World Showcase though,” Henry suggests. “The guidebook says they have a cool night show. And there's lots of restaurants there to choose from.”

 

Emma and Regina share a look and then Emma shrugs. “Sure, sounds good to me.” Maybe she'll have wine with dinner and then she can say she finished four of eleven stops on the world drinking tour. That's not so bad. _Definitely_ better than her mother would have managed.

 

xxxxxx

 

Later that night curled up in bed, Emma in Regina’s arms, Regina stroking Emma’s hair absentmindedly, Regina says, “See, I was right. Today was much better than yesterday.”

 

“Did you miss the part where you had to take me back to the room?” Emma asks.

 

Regina’s hand stills and Emma can feel curious eyes staring down at her. “Are you saying you didn't have fun?”

 

“No, I had fun,” Emma says but then adds a little quieter, “But I did kinda ruin the afternoon.” She hates the hint of uncertainty there in her voice. Hates that, after all this time of being loved, self doubt still manages to sneak up sometimes when she's too tired to stop it. Like her brain still can't stop making the connection between being a bother and being given away, no matter how much she knows it's illogical, no matter how sure she is that Regina isn't going to leave her.

 

And she _is_ sure. Has been sure since the day Regina came home to find her packing her things after a fight when she first moved in and just stared and stared and stared at the duffle bag and the one box with pursed lips and unreadable eyes. And then, after what felt like forever, instead of saying a word, she just took Emma to Town Hall and procured a paper from the clerk's desk. And Emma was so confused until Regina looked at her with eyes filled with love and so much understanding and said, “Clearly you need something _more_ to tie us together so that you don’t _ever_ do something as ridiculous as pack up all of your stuff again. So...if you want, you can have this...” and only the way her hand trembled slightly as she held the paper out gave away that she was nervous.

 

And Emma’s heart nearly hammered it’s way out of her chest when she realized that the paper was a Marriage License. And she just stood there, at a loss for words, on the verge of crying, completely overwhelmed. And then she was kissing Regina like absolutely everything she felt could be conveyed without words. And maybe it could be because somehow an offered Marriage License turned into them being married right then and there. Because what was the point in waiting? And, okay, maybe also a little bit because Regina got a lot of joy out of telling Snow later that day that she wasn't going to get to plan a wedding.

 

“Don't be ridiculous,” Regina says now, pulling Emma out of her memories. Her words aren’t teasing, they are firm and reassuring, because she always seems to hear the things that Emma _isn't_ saying. “Henry and I had a lovely relaxing time by the pool.”

 

“If you say so,” Emma breathes out, glad to have the reassurance that Regina isn't angry with her about it, even if she wishes she didn't need it.

 

“I do,” Regina says softly, fondly, and her hand resumes stroking Emma's hair. After a beat of silence she adds, “So, see, there was no jinx.”

 

Emma can’t help but groan at that. “Great, now you’ve _really_ jinxed us.”

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Regina says in the way that means both _you're ridiculous_ and _I love you._ “What am I going to do with you?”

 

Emma props herself up on one elbow and eyes Regina hopefully. “You could kiss me?”

 

Regina laughs but her expression is filled with nothing but fondness. “Oh I could, could I?”

 

Emma bats her eyelashes. “Please?”

 

Regina swallows thickly, her eyes darkening. “I suppose so.”

 

Emma grins slowly, leans forward and presses her lips to Regina’s. And then they're kissing and she's not thinking about jinxes, or failed attempts to drink her way around the world, or even about the day that they got married, all she's thinking about is the feel of Regina’s lips against her own.

 

xxxxxx

 

There is no cool boat to take them from their resort to the Magic Kingdom the next morning, just a bus. Although, thankfully, at least it's a bus with air conditioning.

 

Like basically every tourist in this place, they stop in front of the castle first.

 

Regina looks up at it with pursed lips. “I don’t see what the big deal is, it isn't as nice as a _real_ castle. And it certainly doesn't hold a candle to _my_ castle.”

 

Emma shakes her head in disbelief. “The big deal is that this is _The_ Castle. The one you see and instantly think Disney. The one at the beginning of all of the movies.”

 

Regina shrugs one shoulder, like she's definitely not convinced but also doesn't care enough to argue. “Do you ever wonder what yours would have been like?” she asks after a beat, sounding genuinely curious.

 

“My what?” Emma frowns, confused.

 

“Your Disney movie,” Regina clarifies.

 

“Oh,” Emma nods in understanding and then she shrugs. “I mean, I used to. My parents are beloved fairytale characters, idolized the world over. I can't help but wonder what it would have been like.”

 

“What made you stop?” Regina asks, still sounding like she is genuinely curious.                                                                                              

 

Emma doesn’t have to think about the answer, she knows exactly why she doesn't want an animated movie, and she explains with conviction, “That awful TV show. It started so brave and then shied away. If they can’t even be bothered to tell what I think was a pretty beautiful love story, then what hope would I have for my animated musical?”

 

Regina’s jaw tightens in obvious distaste at even just the mention of _that_ show. “Good point,” she agrees, the unmistakable hint of anger there in her tone.

 

“It would be awful, for sure.” Henry bobs his head up and down in agreement and, perhaps sensing his mother’s simmering anger, avoids all mentions of _that_ show, as he continues, “They would make it a sequel to Snow White. And sequels for classic animated Disney movies are _always_ awful.”

 

“I wouldn’t want mine to be a sequel to Snow White…” Emma frowns as she thinks about _that_ . “It would probably have some dumb title like Snow White 2: Snow White has a Kid.” After a beat, she shrugs her shoulders and adds, “Sequels aren’t _all_ bad though...I kind of liked Return of Jafar.”

 

Henry’s eyeing her like he thinks she’s absolutely insane. “...You're weird.”

 

“That’s mean.” Emma pretends to pout, looking over at Regina for some help. “Are you going to let our son talk to me like this, Regina?”

 

“Yes,” Regina says without hesitation, her lips twitching into a smirk. “First of all, they would never name a movie Snow White 2: Snow White has a Kid, that's preposterous, there's no need for _Snow White_ to be in the title _twice_. Second of all, Return of Jafar is an awful movie. The genie wasn't even voiced by Robin Williams.”

 

“But Iago became a good guy! It was like the original villain to hero storyline!” Emma protests vehemently.

 

Regina quirks an eyebrow at her. “Are you trying to compare me to a parrot, dear?”

 

 _Oh shit_ , Emma thinks, shaking her head rapidly to try and fix that mistake even if Regina is probably just messing with her. “No, no, no.” She should probably just leave it at that but she can’t help but add stubbornly, “I'm just saying that Return of Jafar has an awesome plot line. It's totally an awesome movie. It's an awesome sequel.” She doesn't understand how on earth Regina and Henry could _not_ like that movie.

 

“ _Yeah_ ,” Henry says, his tone and his facial expression filled with scepticism, “You're not going to convince us no matter how many times you say the word awesome.”

 

“Most definitely not,” Regina agrees.

 

Emma crosses her arms and grumbles, “You two are the worst.”

 

Regina’s lips twitch upwards, amused by Emma's grumbling instead of being repentant for teasing her. “Oh come on now, dear. You love us.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Emma grumbles, arms still crossed in determination to remain annoyed by her family’s teasing.

 

Regina shakes her head, her expression fond as she leans over and presses her lips to Emma's, and, well, it's impossible to stay annoyed _now_.

 

Emma’s arms uncross and she is smiling when Regina pulls back. “You know,” she says, “if I did get my animated movie, some warped version of me would probably waltz into town and start trying to mess stuff up.”

 

“Very true,” Regina nods seriously. “Another excellent reason to not want you to get an animated movie. One Emma is irritating enough.”

 

“Hey…” Emma whines, pouting.

 

Regina laughs, leaning over and kissing Emma again and Emma smiles, appeased.

 

Henry rolls his eyes. “You guys are ridiculous.”

 

“That's not very nice Henry,” Regina says.

 

“Aha!” Emma exclaims just a little too loudly. “See when he calls _me_ weird that's not a problem but when he calls _you_ ridiculous, you don't like it very much.”

 

“Because you are both weird _and_ ridiculous but I am neither,” Regina insists like that is the most logical argument she's ever made.

 

Before Emma can make a retort, Henry groans loudly, clearly over their banter. “Can we just go to Space Mountain already?”

 

Emma and Regina share a look and Emma shrugs, giving up easily enough. “Yeah, okay.”

 

Regina takes Emma's hand as they walk away from the castle, squeezing gently. It's an unnecessary apology for an argument that wasn’t really an argument at all but it makes Emma smile nonetheless. She leans over and whispers softly in Regina’s ear, “I love you.”

 

And then Regina is smiling too, swinging their joined hands as they walk, Henry a few steps in front of them.

 

xxxxxx

 

They pass the carousel on the way to Space Mountain and Emma points over at it. “Hey look.” She grins. “It's got a swan.”

 

Regina laughs. “Let me guess. Now you want to ride the carousel.”

 

“Well, I mean...maybe?” Emma shrugs a little sheepishly.

 

She fully expects to be made fun of for that, the same way she got made fun of over her hotel choice, but Regina just smiles and says, “Let's go.”

 

“But we're going to Space Mountain,” Henry reminds them, as if they might have forgotten.

 

“There's hardly any line for the carousel, Henry,” Regina tells him. “It's not much of a detour. And don't you think you owe your mother after calling her both weird _and_ ridiculous.”

 

“But you-” Henry starts to protest but Regina quirks an eyebrow at him and he just gives up. “ _Fine_ ,” he agrees instead, adding a grumbled, “But I'm not sitting in that swan with you. Because that is just embarrassing.”

 

Emma can't help but laugh at that. He's such a teenager sometimes. She sticks her tongue out at him as they head over towards the carousel. “That's okay, kid. I'd rather sit with your mom anyway.”

 

Regina smirks. “Who said I was going to sit with you?”

 

“You aren't going to sit with me?” Emma whines, sticking her bottom lip out and pretending to pout.

 

“Stop that.” Regina reaches over and shoves Emma's shoulder gently. When Emma doesn't stop though, she sighs in an exaggerated fashion, as if she is exasperated instead of amused. “Of course I'm going to sit with you.”

 

Emma’s frown is instantly transformed into a beaming smile. “I knew you were my favourite.”

 

“Your favourite _what_?” Regina laughs as they enter the line for the carousel.

 

“My favourite wife,” Emma says seriously.

 

“Emma, I'm your _only_ wife.” Regina shakes her head but her amusement is apparent.

 

Emma's eyes twinkle mischievously. “That you know of.”

 

Regina groans. “Well I hope your other wives think your jokes are funny. Because this wife certainly does not.”

 

“Oh, come on,” Emma protests as they shuffle forward in line. “You think I'm hilarious.”

 

“A hilariously bad joke teller, perhaps,” Regina says, somehow managing a straight face.

 

“You really do have the worst jokes, Ma,” Henry supplies helpfully, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

 

“Mean,” Emma protests, glaring playfully at both of them but they’re at the front of the line now and there are other things to worry about, like- “What if someone takes the swan before we get to it?”

 

“Don't worry.” Regina smiles at her and pats her arm and she's got that look on her face that means she's up to something. “There is a zero percent chance of that happening.”

 

Emma isn't sure how there can be a _zero percent chance_ . But then Regina uses magic to make the carousel stop with the swan right in front of them. Or, at least, Emma is pretty sure she does. And, okay, so there _is_ a zero percent chance after all. Not that she's complaining.

 

xxxxxx

 

It becomes clear that Regina’s motives for the carousel detour probably weren’t just about appeasing Emma when they get to Space Mountain and she hesitates at the entrance. “Why don't you two go? I'll wait out here.”

 

“What?! _No_ ,” Henry protests, like he thinks that Regina not riding Space Mountain is the end of the world. “ _Come on_ , Mom.”

 

Emma smirks, amused, unable to resist teasing, “Wait a minute...are you _afraid_.”

 

“I am no such thing,” Regina huffs indignantly at the suggestion.

 

“Then why don't you want to ride it?” Henry pushes, his eyes twinkling mischievously.

 

Emma shoots him a thumbs up because they both know that this is exactly the right way to talk Regina into doing pretty much anything.

 

Regina’s brow furrows, like she's trying really hard to come up with a valid reason. Finally she sighs, “ _Fine_. If the two of you are so incapable of going into a theme park attraction without me, then I suppose I have no choice but to come along.”

 

Emma and Henry high five and then Emma reaches over and pats Regina’s back, grinning. “Don’t worry. You'll have fun.”

 

xxxxxx

 

Emma is wrong, Regina does _not_ have fun. She steps off the ride and proceeds to vomit into the nearest trash can, while Emma grimaces and holds her hair back.

 

When the heaving seems to finally be over, Emma guides Regina outside and over to a bench. Regina must look awful enough because the people currently sitting on said bench scatter.

 

“Hey, Henry,” Emma says, pulling some crumpled bills out of her pocket and holding them out for him to take. “Can you go buy a bottle of water from that kiosk?” she points to the kiosk she means.

 

Henry nods wordlessly and takes the money, hurrying to retrieve the bottle of water.

 

Emma sits herself down beside Regina on the bench, rubbing her back gently. “You okay?”

 

Regina nods but she doesn't say anything, just leans over until she's pressed against Emma's side, which probably means she isn't all that okay.

 

Emma just keeps rubbing her back, eyes on Henry moving forward in line at the kiosk until he's at the counter.

 

“How do you not hurl every time you poof anywhere?” Emma asks. First air sickness, now roller coaster sickness - she's genuinely curious.

 

“That's not the same at all,” Regina protests.

 

Emma just shrugs.

 

Henry jogs his way back over from the kiosk, stopping in front of them and holding the bottle of water out for Regina to take. “You still look kinda green Mom, are you okay?” he asks worriedly.

 

“I’m fine,” Regina insists, taking the bottle of water from Henry and twisting the cap off. She takes slow sips until half the bottle is gone and then she says, “Can we go back to the room so I can brush my teeth? My mouth feels disgusting.”

 

“That will take forever.” Emma tilts her head in contemplation a moment and then suggests, “Let's just buy a toothbrush. They must have one in one of these little shops.”

 

Regina shakes her head stubbornly. “I'm not paying twenty dollars for a toothbrush that has Mickey Mouse’s face on it.”

 

Emma doesn't see what the big deal is. It's not as if they don't have a seemingly endless supply of money, the source of which she guesses is the first curse, although she doesn't think too hard about it. “Fine,” she agrees and does a quick bit of magic instead, Regina’s toothbrush and toothpaste appearing in her hand.

 

Regina quirks an eyebrow at her. “What happened to no magic in the park? After that long lecture you gave me?”

 

“What lecture?” Henry pipes up curiously.

 

“It wasn't a lecture,” Emma insists. “It was a strong recommendation. And all I said was no fireballs. Because you'll scare the kids.” She shakes her head, adding, “And, _besides_ , you already used magic today. To stop the swan in front of us at the carousel. So your argument is invalid.”

 

Regina crosses her arms. “You can't prove that I did that.”

 

It's almost a dare but Emma doesn't take the bait, she just holds the toothbrush and toothpaste out for Regina to take. “Do you want this toothbrush or what?”

 

Regina scowls, but after a minute she reaches over and wordlessly snatches the toothbrush and toothpaste from Emma's hand, pushing herself up and off the bench and stalking off to the bathroom.

 

xxxxxx

 

“What should we do now?” Emma asks when Regina returns from the washroom.

 

“Seven Dwarfs Mine ride?” Henry suggests, looking eager.

 

Regina’s lips purse, her displeasure at the idea obvious, although she doesn’t flat out reject it.

 

“I think we should table roller coasters for now, kid,” Emma says because she’s not letting Regina get sick all over again just because she’s sometimes bad at saying no to their son.

 

Henry looks sort of disappointed but he shrugs it off, probably because Emma’s point is a good one. “Then what should we do?”

 

“It’s a Small World?” Emma suggests.

 

“Yes, because what we all need right now is to get an insufferable song stuck in our heads,” Regina says, sarcasm dripping from her words.

 

Emma grimaces. “Yeah, okay, on second thought, maybe not.” She tilts her head and considers other options. “What about food?”

 

Regina quirks an eyebrow at her. “We just had breakfast two hours ago.”

 

“We’re on vacation.” Emma shrugs. “And it’s always time for ice cream.”

 

“Yes!” Henry agrees with enthusiasm. “Let’s get ice cream.”

 

Regina shakes her head, but her attempts at looking disapproving are being hindered by the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Okay,” she says, “you can get ice cream.” She really isn’t very good at saying no to them.

 

xxxxxx

 

Henry and Emma end up with chocolate covered vanilla ice cream on sticks; the treats are shaped like Mickey’s head. Regina passes up on ice cream altogether, blaming the not so long ago sickness, although Emma suspects that she probably would have passed up regardless.

 

“Hey, look.” Henry points, mouth full of ice cream. “Is that the Evil Queen?”

 

Both Emma and Regina turn to look and, sure enough, the hoaky animated Disney version of the Evil Queen is standing not too far away from the castle. There’s a short line of people waiting to take pictures with her.

 

“Mom!” Henry says with a little too much excitement. “You should totally take a picture with her.”

 

Regina scoffs, “No thank you.”

 

“Oh come on, Regina.” Emma grins, pausing to lick melting ice cream off of her hand before adding, “Think of how epic the picture would be.” She doesn’t mention that she’s been on the lookout for this very opportunity since they got here because there just might be a Town wide bet going on that she won’t be able to convince Regina to take a picture with the cartoon version of the Evil Queen. Or that everyone, including her own parents, has bet against her.

 

“ _Epic_?” Henry quirks a disapproving eyebrow at her. “You gotta stop trying to sound cool, Ma.”

 

Regina laughs at that.

 

Emma scowls, grumbling, “Whatever, you know what I mean. A great photo. It would be a great, great photo.”

 

“A _great_ photo,” Regina repeats incredulously. “That’s your big selling argument?” There’s a beat and her expression turns sort of smug as she adds, “Not the hundreds of dollars and bear claws at stake if I don’t?”

 

Emma’s eyes widen in surprise. “You...uhhh…know?” She rubs the back of her neck, not really sure what she’s supposed to say here. Should she be apologizing?

 

Regina smirks slowly. “When are you going to learn that I know everything, dear.” She laughs when Emma gulps.

 

“So, ummm….you’re going to take the picture, right?” Emma eyes her uncertainly.

 

“I don’t know,” Regina says and she looks far too smug and far too amused now. “What’s in it for me?”

 

Emma’s eyes widen again. “Umm…” She glances over at Henry. There’s lots of promises she could be making right now but none that would be appropriate in front of their son and Regina knows as much. To be honest, Henry sort of looks like he knows as much too because he’s giving her the most terrified expression that Emma has ever seen, like he thinks she would purposely traumatize him, which she would not. “You can have the money?” It’s all she can think to offer, although it’s definitely more of a question than a legitimate offer.

 

“But not the bear claws?” Regina is still smirking.

 

“You don’t even like bear claws,” Emma protests because what’s the point of winning the bet if she doesn’t even get the bear claws?

 

“And I don’t need the money,” Regina adds and she’s definitely enjoying herself way too much.

 

Emma frowns. “You’re _seriously_ not going to take the picture?”

 

Regina laughs but doesn’t say anything.

 

“ _Regina_ ,” Emma whines because she’s not sure at all what the laughter means.

 

“I’ll take the picture,” Regina says but only after Emma is practically shaking in frustration. “But the money is going to charity. And Henry gets the bear claws.”

 

“Yes!” Henry pumps his fist.

 

“ _What_ ?!” Emma protests at the same time. She _really_ wants those bear claws.

 

“If you'd rather I didn't take the picture, just say so,” Regina says.

 

Emma scowls but eventually she grumbles, “Fine. Henry can have the bear claws.” At least she’ll still have the satisfaction of knowing she won the bet. And gloating. At least she'll get to gloat.

 

“Oh and I’m telling everyone that Henry was the one to convince me,” Regina adds with the kind of smirk that's far too knowing. She's definitely held that little piece of information back on purpose.

 

Emma groans and if it weren't for the half eaten, half melted, ice cream she's still holding, she'd probably bury her head in her hands. Because _technically_ that still wins her the bet. Or, at least, it should, even if she’s predicting now that Zelena and at least one of the Dwarves will argue with her about it. But, either way, it _definitely_ loses her bragging rights.

 

Regina laughs. “Next time perhaps don’t place bets behind my back.”  

 

xxxxxx

 

Despite agreeing to take the photo with the Evil Queen, Regina seems more and more unimpressed the closer they get to the front of the line.  

 

It doesn’t help that some kid walking by says, “The Evil Queen is the lamest villain.”

 

Or that the kid beside him agrees with a head bob, “The lamest _ever_.”

 

Regina opens her mouth like she’s going to shout something at those kids and only Emma’s hand reaching over and resting gently on her arm stops her.

 

“They’re just kids,” Emma whispers in her ear. “And they’re not talking about _you_ , they’re talking about the crappy cartoon imitation.”

 

Regina sort of relaxes until the kid in front of them in line says, “Why doesn't she have any hair?” and then she's glowering so hard that she kind of looks like she's trying to set something on fire with her eyes.

 

“I _hate_ Disney,” Regina hisses under her breath.

 

“I know.” Emma pats her arm sympathetically.

 

xxxxxx

 

After they get the picture, and a second one with all three of them posing with the Evil Queen, Henry wants to go on another ride.

 

Regina’s enthusiasm for rides is still woefully non-existent though, so she suggests that they go ahead and she'll just wait here for them to come back.

 

It’s a terrible idea but that is only obvious to Emma in hindsight.

 

Henry and Emma are on their way back to where they left Regina when Emma notices the commotion at the castle.

 

“Ma?” Henry frowns. “Is part of the castle missing?”

 

He’s right, Emma realizes as she squints up into the sun. One of the turrets isn’t towering in the sky anymore. And. Wait. Was that fire? Like a fireball kind of fire? “ _Shit_ ,” Emma hisses and starts running, not even looking back to make sure Henry is following.

 

“REGINA!” Emma yells loudly, sliding to halt at her side. “ _No_! What did I say about throwing fireballs at the happiest place on earth?”

 

An un-thrown fireball still in hand, Regina turns her head to look at Emma. “Don't?”

 

“Correct,” Emma nods and waits expectantly for Regina to extinguish the ball of flame.

 

Regina rids herself of the fireball, closing her hand into a fist instead. She looks wholly unhappy as she says, “You expect me, Regina Mills, Queen of Revenge, to merely let their crime against cinema go unanswered?”

 

Emma just stares incredulously, trying to figure out how they went from happy family vacation to property damage as a means of revenge. And, okay, so maybe there's been some signs of this coming. Like all of the disdain and jabs at Disney over that last two days. But Emma genuinely thought Regina was enjoying herself - at least mostly until Space Mountain and those kids making fun of the Evil Queen. She sighs, and guesses, “Is this about them reducing your character to an ugly old woman who was jealous she wasn't as _fair_ as Snow White?”

 

Regina scowls. “Did they miss the part where she caused the death of my first True Love and that her father was an unpleasant creature to be owned by? And what do they mean by _fair_ ? Was she an especially good arbitrator? Could they not remember the word _beautiful_ when they wrote the script? Or am I supposed to be jealous that her skin practically glows in the dark? Who would wish to be _white as snow_ when they could have skin like mine?”

 

And, okay, so this is _definitely_ about those kids calling the Evil Queen the lamest villain. Maybe coming to Magic Kingdom, home of basically every fairytale character Regina has ever had a grievance with, was a bad call. They were significantly better off in Epcot. And she bets they would have been fine at Animal Kingdom. She doubts running into Rafiki would have spurred this kind of outrage.

 

Henry grimaces. “This may have been a bad idea for our first proper family holiday.”

 

“You think?” Emma glances over at him quickly before she’s looking back over at her wife. She just wants to fix this. “Regina, if it helps, I think you're significantly hotter than my mother.”

 

“I should hope so!” Regina says immediately, looking appalled.

 

At the same time, Henry grimaces, his face the picture of horror. “That did not sound right!”

 

“You know what I mean!” Emma throws her arms up in exasperation. How is it that they're ganging up on _her_ when _Regina’s_ the one who's literally destroyed the most iconic castle in the world.

 

They all just stare at each other for a minute and then Regina is the one to ask, “So, should we flee the incoming security?” It's not nearly as urgent sounding as it probably should be.

 

“Probably wise,” Emma agrees because she really really doesn’t want to end up in Disney jail. “Looks like Tinkerbell is on her walkie,” she adds after a quick assessment of their surroundings.

 

“She would be, that traitorous bitch,” Regina says angrily and she kind of looks like she's about to start fireballing things again.

 

It's too loud and Tinkerbell is looking over at them now.

 

“ _Yeah_ ,” Emma says more urgently, “We’d better run now.”

 

Emma pauses as Regina and Henry start to move away from the scene of the crime, turning back to face the castle, waving her hand and letting her magic flow from within her, repairing the crumpled turret. She is relieved that everyone is suddenly much too fascinated with watching the turret piece itself back together to pay her any attention. With one last wave of her hand, she turns and runs, quickly catching up with Regina and Henry.

 

xxxxxx

 

They debate poofing back to their hotel room but the problem with an overcrowded Disney park is that there is not a single square foot of it with any semblance of privacy.

 

Emma suggests a bathroom stall but doesn't need to hear Regina and Henry’s protests to realize that three people cramming into one bathroom stall would probably be more conspicuous than if they just poofed from right in the middle of a crowd.

 

They end up deciding to just amble their way slowly back to the hotel bus, avoiding security type people and anyone who looks too official.

 

There aren’t very many people on the bus when they climb on, probably because it’s still early in the day, but there’s a family with three young children sitting near the front.

 

As the bus rumbles its way away from Magic Kingdom, the oldest looking boy talks animatedly with his hands. “And then the top of the castle just floated back on top. And then all the bricks got un-crooked.”

 

“Yes, Bobby,” the mother nods in the way that probably means that Bobby has been talking about this incessantly. “We saw.”

 

“It was the _coolest_ magic show ever.” Bobby beams like this is the best day of his life. “Disney is the _best.”_

 

Henry, Emma, and Regina just slink down in their seats and try to look inconspicuous.

 

xxxxxx

 

Back in their hotel room, Emma says, “So we should probably just leave? Staying after you nearly destroy the place is bad form, yeah?”

 

“Yeah, pretty much,” Henry agrees, nodding seriously.

 

Regina just looks guilty. “I suppose leaving would be the prudent choice,” she finally says and her voice is flat.

 

Emma can tell just by looking at Regina that whatever Disney incited anger overcame her earlier is gone and now she's just beating herself up. Emma hates that. She moves over and reaches for Regina’s hand, squeezing gently. It's less an _are you okay_ squeeze and more of an _it's going to be okay_ squeeze.

 

It takes a minute but Regina squeezes back and Emma lets out the breath that she didn't even know she was holding

 

“So we should pack?” Henry suggests.

 

“Yes.” Emma nods. “Packing. Let's do that.” She squeezes Regina’s hand once more and then she peels away to go grab the suitcases.

 

xxxxxx

 

Emma leaves Henry and Regina to finish the last bit of packing and heads down to the lobby to take care of getting them checked out.

 

The lady behind the lobby desk has red hair and a name tag that says Karen.

 

“Hi there,” Emma says, setting their room keys down on the counter. “I need to check out.”

 

“Of course ma’am.” Karen smiles at her and takes the keys. After a few minutes on the computer, she looks up, the confusion on her face evident. “You still have the room booked for five more days.”

 

“Yes, I know,” Emma bobs her head up and down rapidly. “But I need to check out, _now._ ”

 

Karen looks utterly perplexed. “Do you need to look at our refund policy? I'm not sure we will be able to reimburse you.”

 

“ _No_. I don't care about a refund. I just need to check out,” Emma says and she's starting to get frustrated. She doesn't need the tenth degree. She just needs to check out so that she can get back to her family.

 

Karen isn’t looking any less perplexed though, and she’s apparently also not giving up. “Would you like to speak to a manager? If you're dissatisfied with your stay, I encourage you to do so.”

 

“Look _Karen_ .” Emma barely resists the urge to slam her hands down on the counter. “There is no dissatisfaction. I just need to check out. _Please_. Disney just... it isn't the right vacation for my family. That's all. _Okay_?”

 

Now Karen is looking at Emma like she's absolutely insane. She seems to realize what she's doing after a minute though and she shakes her head, as if to get control of herself. “Alright Mrs. Swan-Mills. I can get you checked out right now,” Karen says in what is clearly an attempt to be professional.

 

“Thank you.” Emma breathes a sigh of relief. After a beat she adds, “Also, I need a rental car. Do you know where I can get one?”

 

xxxxxx

 

The car ride is quiet. Too quiet.

 

Regina stares forlornly out the window, and Henry seems at a loss for what to say.

 

Emma hates it. She just wants to fix it.

 

“You missed the exit for the airport,” Regina says, her head turning from the window to look over at Emma.

 

“No, I didn't.” Emma shakes her head.

 

“Emma,” Regina sighs, like the idea of arguing right now is absolutely exhausting. “That was the exit for the airport.”

 

“I know,” Emma says. “But we aren't going to the airport.”

 

“We aren't?” Henry pipes up curiously from the backseat.

 

Emma glances over at Regina again who’s quirking an eyebrow at her and she smiles. “We’re going to the beach. Daytona Beach. It's only like an hour away.”

 

“Really?” Henry sits up straighter in his seat, looking eager.

 

Regina tilts her head curiously and there's the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. It's not exactly enthusiasm but Emma will take whatever she can get right now.

 

“Yes, really.” Emma grins at Henry through the rear view mirror. “And I'll take you nerds to Cape Canaveral one day. It's not so far from Daytona.”

 

“ _NASA_ ?” Henry says and now he looks _very_ excited.

 

“Yes, NASA.” Emma laughs. “I know you nerds will love that shi-” she catches herself before she actually swears and corrects with, “stuff.”

 

“Yes!” Henry grins.

 

And, for once, Regina doesn't even protest the use of _nerd_ or chastise Emma for almost swearing. She just smiles and, when Emma glances over at her, she mouths _thank you_.

 

Emma relaxes. It's going to be okay. She reaches over and cranks the radio on, turning the volume up. She drums her hands against the steering wheel and and sings loudly off key to _Life is a Highway_ until Henry and Regina are both laughing.

 

xxxxxx

 

They find a condo to rent right on the ocean. It's twice as big as their suite at Disney with two proper rooms, a living room and kitchen, and a balcony that will be absolutely perfect for watching the sun rise over the ocean.

 

They have dinner on the pier and then walk the beach, feet in the water, until the sun has set.

 

Emma is well on her way to forgetting all about the Disney Disaster by the time they’re curled up in bed together later that night, Regina’s head on Emma's chest, one of her arms draped across Emma’s abdomen, and her fingers drawing a mindless pattern on Emma’s hip bone. Or, at least, she is until Regina says quietly, “I'm sorry I ruined our first real family vacation.”

 

Emma stills. She should have known Regina wouldn't let go of guilt so easily. “You didn't ruin anything,” she says firmly. “And the trip isn't even over yet. We've got four full days at the beach ahead of us. Plus NASA.”

 

“Would you just let me apologize?” Regina protests and she sits up, eyeing Emma with serious eyes. “You don’t have to downplay it.”

 

Emma pulls herself up too, eyeing Regina uncertainly. “Okay?” she says it more like a question because she isn't actually downplaying anything.

 

Regina sighs and Emma can't stand the guilt in her eyes. “I really am sorry you didn't get to have the experience you dreamt about as a child...I really wanted to give that to you. I just...I didn't think Disney would be _that_ infuriating….or that I'd have magic there.”

 

All Emma wants is for Regina to stop looking at her like _that_ . Like she thinks she’s ruined everything when she’s ruined absolutely nothing. She reaches over and tenderly tucks dark hair behind Regina’s ear. One side of her mouth tugs upwards into a rueful smile. “You know what I _really_ dreamt about when I was a kid?” she says and it’s wistful almost. There’s a pause before she answers her own question, “I dreamt about having a family to go on a vacation with.”

 

“ _Emma_ ,” Regina breathes out her name and it's impossibly soft, the guilt’s still there but her eyes are shimmering with love and understanding and maybe gratitude as well now.

 

Emma interrupts before Regina can say anything else, “So, you didn't ruin anything, _okay_?” It's firm and oh so very gentle at the same time.

 

Regina swallows thickly. “Okay,” she repeats, breathing the word out like she's letting lingering guilt escape with it, and then she’s smiling fondly.

 

Emma reaches over and cups Regina’s cheek gently, the pad of her thumb running along Regina’s cheek bone. “I love you,” she says and her heart is thumping loudly in her chest as if in confirmation.

 

“I love you,” Regina repeats and she leans forward and presses her lips to Emma's in a kiss that is soft and tender and then more urgent as fingers tangle in blonde hair.

 

They're both breathless when they finally pull back, resettling themselves on the bed, legs tangling together and Regina’s head landing on Emma's shoulder.

 

They lie quietly for a while before Emma says, “The beach is way better than Disney anyway.”

 

Regina laughs softly and it's the happy kind of laughter that makes Emma's heart flutter.

 

“But I was definitely right about the jinx,” Emma adds because she can't resist.

 

Regina laughs again, nuzzling her face further into the crook of Emma's neck. Emma's expecting teasing but Regina just says, so softly, so fondly, “I love you.”

 

Emma smiles, her arm wrapping tighter around Regina’s back. “I love you,” she echoes, not caring that she's just said that less than ten minutes ago - she'd repeat it a million times, gladly.

 

She falls asleep to the sound of waves crashing to the beach, and Regina’s soft breathing in her ear, and she's still smiling.

 

And maybe it's not the perfect family vacation by most people's standards but Emma doesn't care. It's a vacation with _her_ family and there's not much that’s more perfect than that.

 


End file.
